Rucking Hell!: Handsome XV

If you're anything like me, you're sick and tired of the wives, girlfriends, mothers and sisters complaining that you spend too much time watching rugby. They say they can't understand how someone can sit there and watch four back-to-back Super Rugby matches every Saturday.

Here's a little something for you to show them next time they complain. From charming smiles to chiselled abs, the Dream XV has it all to keep the woman in your life quiet whilst you get to enjoy the Summer Internationals! We're also hoping this post might get a few women to visit the blog!!

Enjoy and let us know what you think!!

1. Tendai Mtawarira (Natal Sharks)

With a smile that could melt the ice-caps, Tendai is the handsome XV loose head. Also, he's called The Beast...

2. Dimitri Szarzewski (Stade Français)

The French hooker clearly spends far more time grooming and posing for calendar shoots than he does on his attempts to secure the France no. 2 jersey! His glorious blond locks can be seen mincing around the Parisian pitch during the regular season...maybe Stade should work less on their posing and more on their rugby to try and make it to the playoffs!

3. Martin Castrogiovanni (Leicester Tigers)

I have been reliably informed by one of Castro's closest friends that the ladies love him. And who couldn't? Castro is not only ruggedly handsome but also owns his own Italian restaurants. The giant man is truly charming and adorable

4. Sebastian Chabal (Lyon)

The Caveman has become a sex-icon in France, even attracting his own followers who call themselves 'Les Chabalistes'. Women world-wide love him, even if he's an acquired taste. Maybe it's the beard and the long hair that offer a mysterious and allusive air that he lacks on the pitch.

5. Hugh Pyle (Melbourne Rebels)

Just when we were beginning to think that there were no rugby players who you could describe as conventionally 'attractive', along comes this chiselled young Australian lock. After his first season grinding away in the Rebels boiler room, we were shocked to see that a player who makes a career out of the ugly side of the game (hitting rucks without deserved praise) is in fact quite handsome. Having been picked for the Australian squad, things are looking up for Hugh.

6. Thierry Dusutoir (Toulouse)

This man has been credited with single handedly leading his team to the World Cup final. Not only that but he recently got voted the IRB player of the year. And also apparently women find him handsome....don't you just hate people like that? 

7. Liam Gill (Queensland Reds)

From my experience, girls like men with floppy "fashion" hair and young, unscathed faces. Right now, Reds' open side Liam Gill has both in spades. With his high turnover rate however (as shown below), it won't be long until that face is as scarred and battered as the rest of them. So enjoy him for now ladies. 

8. Sergio Parisse (Stade Français)

There must be a reason that the sensational Italian captain is married to former Miss Europe Alexandra Rosenfeld. It also comes as no surprise that there is another Stade player in the team - there's something about topless oiled men posing for calendar shoots that women find attractive...

9. Mike Phillips (Bayonne)

During the Rugby World Cup, the New Zealand Herald reported that Wales scrum half had been voted the sexiest man at the world cup, and who are we to disagree? Anyone that follows Mike on Twitter will be aware he certainly doesn't disagree. The size of a forward and the face of a back, what more could you ask from a scrum half?

10. Dan Carter (Canterbury Crusaders)

On the 2005 Lions Tour, Dan Carter took Jonny Wilkinson's place as the world's best fly half. And we here at TCI think he also topped him in the looks category. The arguments will continue for generations between about who the better fly half was - the wives and girlfriends can discuss the triviality of looks. 

11. James O'Connor (Melbourne Rebels)

James has fashion hair (highlights and everything), loves fashionable clothes and surfs. Come on ladies, what's not to like? By the way, James is 21 years old and already has 37 caps for Australia and 208 points. Show off. 

12. Sonny-Bill Williams (Waikato Chiefs)

SBW has become a national treasure in New Zealand. This is partly because of his powerful running, magnificent offloading and enormous tackling. It is partly because the rest of the world can't handle him (Peter de Villiers' rants are enough to make SBW a national treasure anywhere in the world!) It is also due, in part, to the fact that the ladies love him. Sonny-Bill is apparently a bit of a bad boy, something women are supposed to love. 

13. Wynand Olivier (Blue Bulls)

I once saw Wynand in a bar in Pretoria after the second Lions Test in 2009. I thought he was a bit short but he walked around the bar chatting up any girl he wanted, much to the distress of the helpless boyfriends. I also saw this on RugbyDump so I guess he's got to go in. 

14. Aurelien Rougerie (ASM Clermont Auvergne)

Another Frenchman to make the team. Ladies may love him for his blond locks but the most important thing here is that Rougerie is back on the wing where he is far better used. France insisted on playing him in the centres and moving scoring sensation Wesley Fofana to the wing during the 6 Nations. This confused us very much, so we're playing him on the wing. Take note Philipe.

15. Ben Foden (Northampton Saints)

Foden just had a kid with Una Healy from The Saturdays, enough said. After searching the internet for 14 attractive and predominantly topless men, I've had enough. So here's something a little different and a reward for getting all the way through this post! 

Rucking Hell!: Hooper v. Gill: Who is Australia’s next great fetcher?

No nation, in recent years, has struggled as much as England to produce top quality openside flankers who have both skill on the floor and dynamism in the loose. Whether it is the brand of running rugby attributed to the drier climate or simply a natural talent inherent in the gene pool, the Southern Hemisphere is a conveyor belt for opensides who have fully mastered the dark art of the turnover. From Ritchie McCaw, branded as the ‘biggest cheat in world sport’, to the incredible talent and bulging biceps of David Pocock, it is undisputable that the masters of the breakdown reside in the Southern Nations. Two new faces have exploded onto the Super rugby scene this season, both have displayed they have what it takes to fill the Wallaby 7 shirt, however, who is Australia’s next great fetcher?

20 year old Michael Hooper and 19 year old Liam Gill have been frustrating, bewildering and generally annoying opposition on a consistent basis throughout this year’s Super 15 competition. Hooper plying his trade on Brumbies openside flank has helped his team to the top of the Australian conference and has recently been called into the Wallaby squad for the June internationals against Wales. Hooper standing at only 5 foot 11 and weighing 97kg is already developing a physique similar to that of Pocock but does he have skills at the break down to match? Surprising, Hooper has just 11 turnovers this year but combined with his ability to slow ball down on the deck, as well as his 160 tackles, he has become a highly influential figure for the Brumbies outfit. Super Hooper is undoubtedly a prestigious talent, blessed with an imposing presence, self-sacrificing bravery and an eye for a turnover… or so we here at The Certain Interpretation thought… DUN DUN DUHH!

Liam Gill is currently the starting openside flanker for the Queensland Reds and has been in pretty good form for the past 15 weeks of competition. Unexpectedly Gill is taller than Hooper at 6 foot 1 and weighs 95kg although on the pitch Hooper looks by far the superior physical specimen. First off it’s hard to believe Gill is actually as big as the statistics say he is, as he radiates fragility on the pitch. A comparison can be drawn between Gill and David de Gea, both small under-gymed and drowning in their shirts. However the statistics don’t lie. Gill has 23 turnovers this season, only one shy of Pocock, has made 155 tackles and only conceded 11 penalties. These stats are incredible when compared to Hooper’s 11 turnovers and 8 penalties. Hooper’s turnovers only outstrip his penalties by 28.2%... this is a pretty unimpressive margin. Gill on the other hand has a margin of 52.2% between his penalty count and his total number of turnovers. Statistically, in terms of fetching, Gill is nearly twice the player compared to Hooper.  

Animal instinct and our guts say Hooper but our brains and cold hard statistics say Gill. Quite the conundrum. The solution lies in the fact that Hooper is a more rounded player; he dominates the break down, carries reasonably well for a smaller dynamic flanker and has been known to make nearly 30 tackles a game. He does this whilst imposing his presence on the game… Hooper comes across as a big player bred for big matches. Gill is evidently more specialized in stealing the ball at the breakdown but does not offer the complete all rounded player that Hooper is and is becoming. The boy can’t carry… Although we have to remember he is only 19 so his physicality in the contact area and presence on the pitch will improve drastically over the next few years.

Personally, I would pick super Hooper every time. The stats can get stuffed! It comes down to an issue of all round game and most importantly PRESENCE, which Hooper has by the bucket load and Gill is yet to develop. It is a blessing that neither has taken the path of Derick Minnie who clearly believes he is one of the world’s best flankers, flopping all over the ball and achieving a horrendous penalty count of 26 so far this season. Please Derick, call it a day, you ruin the game as a spectacle (not that Lions games are ever much of a spectacle) and are giving a bad name to backrows everywhere.

Hungover as always,

LC