Rucking Hell: [Lions Special] Cheating Lady Luck

Warren Gatland was right all along.

As the dust settles on the Premiership final and Rory Best faces the media before boarding the plane to Hong Kong, the Kiwi coach will think back to his comments in 2011 with the tiniest feeling of self-appreciation.

Prior to England’s 6 Nations clash with Wales, experienced sledger, Warren Gatland, launched a personal attack on Northampton hooker, Dylan Hartley, criticising his performances as well as his temperament and character. Wales would, Gatland said, look to exploit Hartley’s many publicised weaknesses.

Hartley responded to Gatland’s criticism and England went on to win that game comfortably.

Since then, Hartley has done his best to win Gatland over, and whilst his performances have been average, losing his once certain England starting spot and being ignored by almost all sofa/pub-Lions selectors, the Kiwi coach saw a hard edge to Hartley’s game that would have intimated the Australians.

An interesting aside: in 2011, England beat Wales 26-19 in Cardiff. Of that Wales team, six have been selected for this year’s Lions, compared to just two from England.

Whilst the rest of the all-knowing rugby public openly criticised Gatland for his selection of Hartley over Ulsterman Rory Best, the Lions coach clearly had good reason and will be disappointed that Hartley won’t be on the tour.

There is absolutely no doubt that both Wayne Barnes and the RFU got the decision right, regarding the red card and subsequent ban. Had the RFU ban been more lenient, I would hope that Gatland would still have made the tough choice of dropping Hartley.

So, Gatland got it right and two and a half seasons later, Hartley eventually imploded. The more you analyse and re-watch the two minutes surrounding the foul-mouthed outburst, the greater the disbelief is that Hartley could have been so appallingly irrational and irresponsible. Long have the Northampton coaches ignored criticism of their hooker, burdening him with the responsibility of captain and repeated public displays of their faith.

Whilst Hartley continues to get banned for gauging, biting and punching, Mallinder & co. have stood by their man, claiming after every ban that Hartley is the England captain in waiting.

England’s starting hooker and a firm pencilled name on the Lions touring party at the start of the season, Hartley’s performances have been mediocre and his selection to the Lions was seen as the biggest shock of all.

Many will feel that Hartley’s ban is simply correcting the one mistake Gatland made in his original tour selection and I for one am incredibly glad that the only pre-tour change in the squad was thoroughly deserved, and not forced by injury.

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Whilst Gatland may take some small solace in the fact that Hartley has proved him somewhat of a fortune teller, he will be even happier – delighted in fact – that not one member of his touring party has picked up an injury, despite the gruelling end of season run-in created by a play-off culture.

In fact, not only has no one picked up an injury, but those who were lacking form, fitness and match time have been able to return to full strength. Tom Croft has gone from looking horribly out of shape and out of his depth against Wales in Cardiff, to scoring one of the tries of his career, winning the Premiership final and boarding the plane as the front runner for a starting test spot.

Dan Lydiate has proved his fitness, leading the hapless Dragons to a remarkable win over Munster, whilst Brian O’Driscoll, Richie Gray and Richard Hibbard have all returned to fitness.

All reports coming from the departing Lions party is that optimism is running high. This may not be the most talented touring party since the last tour win of 1997, but they just might be the luckiest. 

The Prophecy of the West Wing

As Hurricane Sandy hits the east coast of the United States, I can’t help think that we have seen this before...Unlike most commentaries however, this isn’t a Katrina comparison.

It has been said that The West Wing has delivered prophetic storylines in the past. The rise of the fictional House Rep. Matt Santos, with a revolutionary education policy akin to Obamacare had many Sorkin fans preaching about the show’s ability to predict American politics, especially when another ethnic minority candidate, Barack Obama, was elected president of the United States.

Now, more than ever, the NBC drama’s ability to predict the future is going to be put to the test.

In the final season of the show, young, Hispanic Santos faces off against a (very McCain-esque) Arnie Vinick (played by Alan Alda). Going into the final clutches of the election, Republican Vinick holds a slight lead over his Democrat rival.

However, in a dramatic twist in the story line, there was a near nuclear meltdown at the San Andreo power plant in Vinick's home state of California just four weeks from election day.

Vinick was, until this point, a staunch supporter of nuclear power and this near-tragedy eventually costs the Republican the election.

Five years later and firmly grounded in reality, Hurricane Sandy is causing chaos and destruction just a week before the election. Whilst Barack Obama tries to prove his leadership credentials by calmly steering the American ship through this literal and metaphorical storm – Mitt Romney is once more dodging questions.

Mr Romney had previously announced (and his campaign confirmed in no uncertain terms), that if elected, Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) would be abolished, and individual states given control over their own emergency response.

Since the storm hit land, Mr Romney has been asked 14 times to confirm his views on FEMA – as of yet, there has been no response.

Has Sorkin done it again and will this prove to be Mitt Romney’s Vinick moment? We will find out in just one week.

Rucking Hell!: Front Row Union

Recently, Rugbydump reported that Tim Payne's yellow card against Northampton had resulted in a two week suspension, and posted a video on Facebook showing the incident. You can see that here.

One rather angry and astute Wasps fan had this to say:

Four people liked the comment...one was Wasps teammate and Samoan international Zac (Sakaria) Taulafo:

The Samoan is clearly tired of going backwards in the scrum. It's good to see the Wasps squad still value some light hearted banter! 

Rucking Hell!: Slow News Day - Olympic 7s Dream Team

In the wake of Olympic-fever that has swept the nation, there have been two bit of rugby ‘news’ (the inverted commas due to sports journalism revolving around creating the news, rather than simply reporting anything that happens of its own accord) in the last week relating to candidates for GB’s Rugby 7’s squad for Rio 2016.

Firstly Sir Clive Woodward (saviour of English Rugby, destroyer of Lions Rugby) tipping Wales freak George North to play in the tournament. Woodward’s suggestion was then followed by Ben Foden, stating he would bend over backwards to be involved.  This got me thinking about what 7s would be like if full internationals players were involved.

I’m deliberately getting carried away with this idea, since I can’t see the people who pay players’ wages (clubs/countries) allowing their top stars to miss matches and risk injury over a part of the game that is generally considered a bit of fun.  But how good would it be if we could watch, just once every 4 years, attacking players of the calibre of North and Foden compete in 7s against the likes of Cory Jane, Bryan Habana and Digby Ioane?

Surely this would provide a great advert for Rugby Union on the world stage the Olympics provides.  Equally, a chance to compete in the Olympics must be something that elite players would jump at. So, here is to a few major countries working out a way for a few of their pretty boys to have a 7s sabbatical in 2016.

In the same vain as the rest of this optimistic post, here’s my Team GB 7s dream team:

1. Jamie Roberts
2. Justin Tipuric
3. Stephen Ferris
4. Ben Foden
5. Manu Tuilagi
6. Tim Visser
7. George North

Do you agree? Who would you pick?

Rucking Hell!: The World's Greatest Administrators

In the United States of America, if you are a millionaire with a penchant for the public spotlight, you run for President. Romney is a notorious tax dodger with millions of un-taxable US dollars hiding in the Cayman Islands and other such exotic retreats. Recent leaks and scandals have proven that Romney is not only stinking rich, but is also a bigot who is constantly saying the wrong things.

Surely there must be another, more suitable job that Mitt could be applying for.

Luckily for him, there is such a job where applicants must:

• Have enormous personal wealth that you are willing to spend lavishly without concern

• Candidates must have bigoted, single minded and ridiculous opinions

• Finally, candidates must be willing to share these opinions with the world

The French have never liked their politicians, so the stupid(ly) rich spend their money on something else - they buy rugby clubs. 

If you think that recent Romney gaffes have been entertaining, then the horrendously wealthy and the stunningly entertaining French rugby administrators are in a league of their own.

In January of this year, Toulon suffered an unfortunate defeat to close rivals Clermont Auvergne. After the match, outspoken President Mourad Boudjellal had this to say:

"I had my first referee ring sodomy in the [2010] semi-final against Clermont. I've just had my second tonight".

"It appeared to hurt the first time but it was just as bad this time. We will review the images not on Youtube but on YouPorn. Clermont are a great team. They did not need it."

On Friday, Welsh scrum half Mike Phillips was indefinitely banned by his club Bayonne for a breach of club rules. Club president Alain Afflelou was not shy to publicly admonish his star player:

"This is unacceptable and not worthy of a professional player...He will not play again until further notice and we will also punish him financially. This is not the first time and we are sick of it. It's shameful...if they carry on behaving like spoiled children, they will no longer wear the shirt of this club."

Despite being "disgusted" by Phillips' behaviour, it was announced on Monday that Phillips' indefinite ban had been lifted already, belying the apparent severity of his crimes and his boss' comments.

There is no doubt about it, French rugby administrators are some of the most entertaining men in the world. When they are not pouring their money into huge signings, they are still making the headlines and with the Heineken Cup just a few weeks away and the future of the tournament still in jeopardy, expect the men with the large cheque books and even larger mouths to be dispensing their opinions to anyone with a dictaphone.

Rucking Hell!: Wilko right for the Lions - at least for now

Anyone who listens to me ramble away about rugby knows that a few days ago, I touted Jonny Wilkinson for a spot in Warren Gatland's Lions squad. The next day, Gatland announced that Wilkinson was still in the frame for the tour next June.

When I named Jonny Wilkinson in my Lions squad, it was done with a wry smile and very little conviction. Having long since retired from the international game, Wilkinson has found a new home in Toulon where the climate and winning ways have prolonged his once injury-blighted career but removed him from the public spotlight. It has always been thought that Jonny's days on the big, international stage were over. Warren Gatland appears to have a different idea.

There are three (good) reasons why Gatland has publicly given Wilkinson a shot at making the tour...

1. On the Pitch

According to universal speculation, Jonny Sexton is currently in the driving seat for the Lions fly-half jersey. Having led Leinster to incredible European and domestic success, it is probably just reward that the Irish pivot starts as favourite for the shirt. Behind Sexton however, there is not much else to get excited about. Welsh fly-half Rhys Priestland has done his very best to prove to the world and his coaches that the World Cup was in fact a flash-in-the-pan. Owen Farrell is brave and composed, but away from the kicking tee, fails to offer anything in attack and Laidlaw is a scrum-half doing his best to fill a horrible void in Scottish rugby. Toby Flood is still not the player he once was and whilst he struggles to find form, the young pretender, George Ford, remains untested and probably undersized.

Whilst the competition is currently uninspiring, the rest of the Lions' squad appears to fit Jonny's style. Looking at the possible Lions midfield, you can assume that Manu Tuilagi (110kg), Jamie Roberts (110kg), Jonathan Davies (104kg), Brian O'Driscoll and AN Other will make up the travelling party. With so much size and quality in midfield, both the Test and midweek fly-half's role will be to distribute to a destructive centre pairing. Aside from that, their responsibilities will be kicking and tackling - both of which are skills that Wilkinson has in abundance.

Come June, there is a very good likelihood that Wilkinson will not be in the Lions squad. At the moment, however, there are some very good reasons why he should be.

2. The Tom Prydie Experiment

Warren Gatland likes to play mind games - Dylan Hartley knows all about them. It's not just the opposition that the New Zealander likes to wind-up. In 2010, Warren Gatland named 17 year old Tom Prydie on the wing for Wales to face Italy despite the youngster having played just seven minutes for the Ospreys. Having never even spoken to the winger, his shock inclusion acted as the proverbial kick up the backside for wingers across Wales. At the time, the Wales squad was (Shane Williams aside) short of quality on the wing. By ignoring the wealth of average wingers and plucking Prydie out of anonymity and childhood, Gatland attempted to spark Welsh speedsters into actions.

Whether or not this experiment worked, there is evidence that suggests that Gatland's mind games do have their rewards. Wales currently have one of the world's premier wingers, George North, and one of Europe's most improved wingers, Alex Cuthbert, as well as former B&I Lion, Leigh Halfpenny.

It is more than likely that the Wilkinson suggestion was, like the Tom Prydie experiment, a challenge to all the British and Irish fly-halves to stake their claim for the tour. By suggesting that Wilko was currently a top-three British fly-half, despite having retired, was a clear indication that Priestland, Farrell, Flood and co. desperately need to find some form or be left at home.

3. The Wilko Effect

There is evidence that the Australians fear Jonny Wilkinson. The 2007 World Cup quarter-final goes some way to prove this. As does this...